Hidden Feelings: Soul's Broken Heart?
by LunaeLucemMaiden
Summary: Soul decides to confess his feelings to Maka, only to find out that she started dating Kid. He holds his feelings inside, until he finally breaks. Will Maka be able to see what's happening before its too late?
1. Chapter 1

Today. He had to tell her today, before he lost his nerve. It's been a whole 3 years since he became a Death Scythe, and he still hadn't been able to find the courage to tell his meister that he loved her.

But that would change today.

He had the whole thing planned out, cleaned the apartment, even cooked a delicious smelling dinner. All he needed was for her to come home. She had gone over to Kid's to hang out with Liz and Patty, and Death knew how long it would be til she got back. But still, he would wait for her. He would do anything to make her happy.

Finally, what seemed like hours later, Soul heard the familiar sound of the front door. He slauntered out of his room, laying eyes on the beautiful woman before him. In the past three years Maka had really filled out nicely, developing all the right curves in all the right places. Oh how badly he wanted to touch those curves...

"Soul!" she exclaimed. "You'll never guess what happened today!" She was downright giddy with excitment. For a split second, Soul wondered if she'd lost her mind. He gave her a big smile, showing off his sharp teeth. "Well I won't know til you tell me, Maka." He said calmly, ready to hear about her glorious girl's day. It pleased him that she was always so trusting with him. There was very fews things about Maka Albarn That Soul didn't know.

"It's Kid! He asked me out today, right out of the blue!" She practicly screamed. "Isn't it great? I turn you into a Death Scythe, and get a shinigami!" She had that cute smile on her face the whole time, the same smile that Soul would do anything to see everyday.

His breath caught in his throat. Kid? Really? That bastard just had to go and take her. He was pissed beyond belief, but he refused to let it show, unable to stand the idea of her being upset with him.

"Y-Yeah Maka. That's great. I'm happy for you." He managed to get out in an even voice. He patted her shoulder, flashing her another smile before heading to his room. He knew he couldn't compare to the shinigami, and knew there was no point in embarrasing himself. Maka was happy, and he wasn't going to do anything to ruin her happiness. Even if it meant losing her.


	2. Ignorance Is Bliss

It had been a month since Maka and Kid started dating, and Soul didn't know how much longer he would be able to hold himself together. Being forced to watch the one you love with someone else, he wouldn't even wish it on a kishin. He thought about leaving, just do whatever missions Lord Death would give him solo, but he knew that the distance didn't matter, he would still have her on his mind.

He needed to think of something, needed to find a way to rid the pain from his chest every time she went out with Kid. It wasn't until he accidently cut himself while cooking did he find the answer. Since discovering that he could lessen the pain of his heart with physical pain, he had turned himself into what resembled a cutting board. Healing cuts ran this way and that on his arms, random burn marks from cigarettes. It wasn't a pretty sight, even to him. But if this meant keeping her in his life, then so be it.

* * *

In all honesty, this day started out just like any other. Soul and Maka ate breakfast together. Throughout the past month, Soul had acting that nothing had changed, at least when she was around. But this day was hard on him. The night before he had over heard Maka asking Blair for tips on how to please Kid in bed. The mere thought made Soul want to puke, but he kept up his facade. But he knew that Maka could tell that something was off.

"What's wrong, Soul?" She asked, in her now devastating sweet voice. He couldn't bare to look at her, fear that he might slip up. "Nothing, just not sleeping well." Was the only retort he could come up with. He didn't lookat here, but he could feel her eyes boring into his back.

"Well, okay Soul. You Know you can always talk to me." He snorted at her comment. "I don't need to talk about anything. Go have your fun." His voice was harsher than he intended, but it effectively ended the conversation. She walked out the door without giving him a second glance.

He sighed, getting up off the couch. He knew Blair had left out the window, probably going to Chupa's, leaving him alone in the house. A twisted smile crept onto his face as he transformed his finger into a blade. He sliced his shirt off, exposing the poor abused skin of his chest, and dragged the bade across the space where his heart was. He knew now that Maka had given herself completely to Kid, and there was no longer a place for Soul in her heart.

He let a single tear fall down his face as he opened old wounds and made new ones, watching his blood. How many times had he bled for her now? How many scars? His mind began it ritualistic turning, and he was so absorbed that he didn't hear the door opening.

Maka walked in just in time to see him slice through his side, though she could tell the wounds weren't fatal. But why? Why would he do this to himself? Was he under the influence of madness? She could hear him say something along the lines of love, but her mind stopped when he turned towards her, though not able to see her. All those scars...

"Soul?" She whispered in a panic, unsure of what was to come.

He looked up at her, his eyes glassy with unshed tears. So, she would know now. All well, wouldn't matter for long. He looked her straight in the eyes while stabbing his wrist.

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**A/N: As always, review, review, review! I know Soul is probably a little OOC, as is Maka..but oh well. :3 Sorry if this chappy was too short again!**


	3. Chapter 3

Maka couldn't take her eyes off him, couldn't help but stare at his self-inflicted injuries. Tears began to grow in her eyes as she registered the pain in his.

"Soul, why?" She whispered softly, failing in her attempt to keep her voice steady.

Soul's emotions were haywire. He was usually cool, calm and collected, but something was about to snap. All the negative feelings were getting to him, and he didn't know how to stop it. He was torn between wanting to go off on her, and wanting her to be happy. Even in his crazed state, her happiness was still at the forefront of his mind.

"Maka, you need to leave." His words were lifeless, and his eyes couldn't meet hers. He knew if she stayed things wouldn't end the way he wanted. He knew he'd end up losing her.

Maka's eyes widened, then narrowed. "Like hell I do! Why would I leave, seeing you like this?" She asked him, the intensity of her voice startling herself.

He could feel his anger rising. She didn't have the right to say things like this anymore. She couldn't order him around. She had Kid for that now, she could move on and forget about him. He took a step towards her, raising his hand to her face, caressing it gently, before moving his hand to her pig-tail. He played with her hair briefly, then roughly grabbed it, pulling her to him.

"You need to leave. I don't want you here." He sounded so cold and distant to Maka that she couldn't believe that this was really Soul. Her Soul would never act like this, never-the-less hurt himself so badly.

She let out a little whimper, and she felt like her heart was breaking. She wanted to Maka Chop him until he returned to his senses, but she could tell that it wouldn't work this time.

"Why? Why don't you want me here?" She asked timidly.

Soul finally snapped and pushed her away. His crimson eyes and darkened until they were nearly black, and his sharp teeth showed in his snarl. How could she _still_ not know?

"Maka, do you have _any_ idea how hard it can be? _Any_ idea how hard it is for me to see you go with Kid, when all I want is you?" He said through clenched teeth. Yeah, it wasn't the way he had imagined confessing his feelings for her, but it had to be done.

Maka stood there, dumbstruck. She cared for Kid, but she had always loved Soul. She just never thought he would feel the same for her. But to know that he wanted her, it amazed her. Why had he kept this secret for so long?

"Why didn't you say something?" She said, closing the gap between them. She caressed his face, much like he did hers, only she intended on keeping this soft and sweet. "I've always loved you." Her voice didn't falter, and she said it with confidence and a smile.

Soul looked down at her, clenching his jar. "Really?" He asked simply.

Maka's only response to to nod her head. Why would she need to lie?

He placed his hand under her chin, tilting her face to look at him. "Prove it, Maka." He said, voice still harsh.

She looked at him quizzically before asking how she was supposed to prove herself to him. She swallowed hard and took a deep breathe.

"What do you want me to do Soul?"

A devilish grin appeared on his face, and he put both his hands on her shoulders. He leaned in close to her ear, nipping at it softly with his sharp teeth.

"On your knees, Maka."

**A/N:**

**There ya go. We all know what's gonna be in the next chapter, so if you don't like, don't read.**

**And don't forget to review!**


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: This chapter contains mild torture/abuse.**

* * *

Maka fell to her knees as soon as she heard Soul's command. She doesn't know what he's planning, but she makes a vow that she will endure anything he throws at her. After years of hiding her feelings, she isn't about to lose her one chance to be with the man she loves.

Soul fingers the edge of her shirt before transforming his hand into a blade and slicing the fabric. He cuts a strip off and wraps it around her eyes, ensuring that she can't see. To him, everything is happening so fast, yet time seems to be dragging on. He was about to learn just how far Maka Albarn would go for him.

He brings his blade to her throat, hovering for a moment before pressing down. He knew he wasn't going to break the skin, but it was just hard enough to hurt.

He brings his face down by her ear, and he can feel her shaking. He roughly nips at her ear, chuckling lowly.

"Do you trust me, Maka?" He asks, his voice barely above a whisper.

She doesn't trust her voice, so she just nods her head, mindful of the blade beneath her chin.

He smiles at her, although she can not see it. He slowly drags his blade down her throat, then her chest, stopping where her ribcage ended. He makes a few small cuts, making her yelp.

He nips her ear again. "I've got all these scars for you, Maka. You can take a little pain for me, can't you?" He asks, making a particularly long cut. He can hear her whimpers, and he breaks. "You can leave whenever you want, Maka. I'm not going to stop you." He says, taunting her. He wants her to leave, wants her to make him hate her for what she's done. But he hopes she stays with him. He raises the blade off her, and removes the blindfold. He steps out of her way, waving his arm towards the door.

Maka immediately gets to her feet, and Soul turns away from her. He has his answer, and he just wants to be left to himself.

But his well trained ears can hear her skirt hit the ground. He turns his head just in time to see her grab a knife of the counter, and she brings in to her exposed thigh. She looks to Soul with tears in her eyes.

"I'm not going anywhere, Soul! I love you! And if this is what it takes to prove that to you," She's cut off, his lips moving against hers. He takes the knife from her hand, tossing it to the other side of the room.

For a moment they just hold each other in silence., reflecting on the nights events. Shyly, Maka is the one who breaks the silence.

"Soul, I'm so sorry. I didn't know you felt this way.": She said softly, more tears forming in her eyes.

"I know, Maka. I'm sorry too, about going all crazy and all." He holds her tighter, never wanting to let her go.

Maka presses herself harder against him, calming herself. The silence returns, only this time its pleasant. Just them enjoying each others company.

Soul pulls away from her, looking her in the eyes. "Maka,"

She looks up to him, giving him a small smile. "Yes, Soul?"

"Tomorrow, you are breaking up with Kid." He states flatly.

She laughs softly, nodding her head. She had already forgotten about the unstable shinigami.

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**A/N: Okay, so no lemon this time. This may be the last chapter, but if I decide to do one more, it WILL contain a lemon, just to warn you all.**

**So whatcha ya'll think? Should I continue this story, or mark it as complete? :3**


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